how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
