I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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