Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize