But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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