so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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