I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
