He had one of those small greek statue penises
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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