you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
