she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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