Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
