I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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