sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
