I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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