After last night, I could never be a politician.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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