on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
