I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
