You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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