Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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