He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
