I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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