hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Holy shit dude........stairs
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