hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize