We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
