if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
