I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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