in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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