I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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