And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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