The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize