So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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