when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
