Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
