I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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