He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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