I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The beers last night were like the tears from god
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize