wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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