My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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