Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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