shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
