I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
