I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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