OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
