he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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