I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
