i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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