Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
