Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
