I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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