Well douche your snatch and let's go!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
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