I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
well you can't waste a boner
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize