and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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