too bad you live with your parents still
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
