four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
