their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize