The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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