I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
