Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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