I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
