Me. At least after what I've been through.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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