I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
