NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
