That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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