I wannas sexs uuuuu
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize