I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
