Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
