five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
