and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
