Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
