you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize