The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
