Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize